I think we would agree we live in an orphan hearted world. We recognise the symptoms in other people, in our world systems and probably in ourselves. So, what is an orphan?

An orphan is separated from or taken out of a family, it has a lack of identity, it lives a lonely, fear based life leading to performance and striving. An orphan sees God as a master or judge and so everything has to be worked for and becomes a reward. An orphan seeks position, acceptance and validation which, once achieved, will be hung onto, whatever the cost. 

Jesus understood all this, which is why he says:

I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. (John 14:18-20 NIV)

Even although the disciples had been with Jesus for three years, during which he had taught them, discipled and counselled them, he still sees them as orphans. In essence he sees them as being fatherless. He recognises the longing of each person to find and know a father. This longing has been in each human heart since Adam and Eve walked out of the garden, having chosen independence and separation from God. 

Jesus comes to put all this right. He reveals the Father, not only to the disciples but also to us. He tells us that both he and the Father will come and make their home in our heart (John 14:23). We are not left fatherless, he has come to us and will be a Father to us. 

Today I encourage you to open your heart to this amazing truth. Not only is God 'a' father but he wants to be a Father to YOU.

Comfort, what we desperately need and yes, it is possible for us to find and receive it. What has been devastated can be transformed and made beautiful. The emptiness and desperation can become a place of joy and gladness.

The LORD will surely comfort Zion and will look with compassion on all her ruins; he will make her deserts like Eden, her wastelands like the garden of the LORD. Joy and gladness will be found in her, thanksgiving and the sound of singing.
Those the LORD has rescued will return. They will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will crown their heads. Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away. (Isaiah 51:3&11 NIV)

This is our hope. The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases and his mercies are new every morning. This is the only thing that gives us true hope in the midst of our suffering. As we allow ourselves to be comforted (for as long as it takes) our heart will undergo a transformation. What we felt was barren or had become like a desert will be transformed into a beautiful garden. Where there was sorrow and sadness there will be joy and gladness. There will be life which Jesus promised was life in all its fulness.

How do we receive comfort. It's different for everyone but let me give one or two suggestions. Trauma often occurs suddenly, comfort comes more slowly and gently. We feel like our life has become a wilderness, we may need to go to the wilderness for our healing: not literally, but we may need to withdraw and have time alone (that can be difficult to plan and arrange but it will be worth it). We need friends, not like Job's but those who will sit, say nothing, do nothing (well, maybe make a cake or some coffee) - who are just there for us when we need them.

Above all we need to turn our heart to the Father of all comfort who will comfort us in all our troubles. Here is a soaking video you may wish to put on and simply ask the Father to pour his comforting love into your heart. He is faithful and he will do it. https://www.afathertoyou.com/musicvideos.html

Comfort, the expression of love we desperately need, yet rarely talk about. We all suffer loss, it often comes unannounced, it's always significant and it affects us more deeply than we allow ourselves to acknowledge. 

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
​You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you. (Matthew 5:4 NIV/Message)

When we suffer loss we need to be able to mourn that loss. Let me try and define how I see grief and mourning. Grief is the onslaught of emotions that we face in the teeth of our loss: bereavement, immeasurable pain, anger, fear, paralysis, despair, hopelessness. These emotions (and all the others I've not mentioned) are all valid and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Mourning is our journey through the grief and our coming to terms with all these conflicting emotions. It's facing them, acknowledging that they are (very) real and then giving yourself time to walk through them. My friend, Jane Trentham, says: "allow yourself to go to the 'ouch' moment". That's not easy, it can be very painful but it's also the start of the journey that leads to healing. 

It's on that journey of mourning, as we process the pain of loss and the deep experience of grief, that we are comforted. How long does it take? It takes as long as it takes and you mustn't rush, as, in your haste, you will bury your grief and it will only surface at another time (probably more forcefully and when you least expect it). 

There is, however, a beautiful promise of redemption and restoration which I'll look at next week. In the meantime, once again, come to the Father and ask him to wrap you in his arms of love and comfort you.

We don't talk about it, but we should. Comfort, in one form or another, is mentioned over one hundred times in the Bible yet we rarely talk about it, let alone receive it. It's important, very important. However, it's not a topic for us to learn about; it's an expression of love that we experience as it brings healing to the deepest wounds in our heart. 

Comfort, comfort my people, says your God. Speak tenderly to Jerusalem, and proclaim to her that her hard service has been completed, that her sin has been paid for, that she has received from the LORD’s hand double for all her sins. (Isaiah 40:1-2 NIV)

Comfort, comfort my people: what that really says to us is that we can be greatly comforted. 

We all experience trauma and we experience it differently. What may be traumatic for one person may be inconsequential for another. We react differently. We may try and cope, to fight through it or pretend that the trauma never happened. Ultimately there is only one solution and that is we need to receive comfort. Trauma will always leave us empty and in despair, we feel as if we have lost hope and have nowhere to turn. In fact, Solomon writes about the desperation we feel when we are not comforted, I encourage you to read it in Ecclesiastes 4:1-3, frankly it's a tragedy. 

I have come to see that every trauma has to be met with a greater level of comfort. If we don't receive more comfort than the trauma we've experienced we will be left in pain or discomfort. Our heart is like a container and trauma sits in the depth of our heart like a heavy weight. Comfort comes down the inside edges of that container, comes underneath the trauma and gradually lifts it up, ultimately being able to wash it away. That's why we need more comfort than the trauma. 

Even although we don't talk about it we all need to be comforted. It is as we grieve and mourn our loss that we are comforted and that's something I'll look at next week. In the meantime, ask the Father to come and wrap you in his arms and comfort you. He will!

“‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’” (Luke 15:31-32 NIV)

Last week I looked at the four responses of the older brother (I've always served you, I've never disobeyed you, you've never given me anything and 'but this son of yours'). Today I want to look at how the father in the story responds. 
He actually treats both his sons in the same way. He goes out to meet them and invites them to come home. The younger son responds but we're not sure what happens to the older son - the end of story is left open. Maybe it's left open to make us think of our own response. Though we don't like to admit it, we're like the older son in many ways and have as much need of a homecoming as the younger son. 

The father tells him two important things which we would do well to listen to: "You are always with me and everything I have is yours". I believe the Father says the same things to us. In the story, the older son couldn't receive it and my question for us is "can we?". Do you know that the Father is always with you? Everything that is his is yours too. I invite you to let these words of the Father sink into your heart; as they do, the servant-hearted responses of the older brother will begin to fade away. 

“The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!" (Luke 15:28-30 NIV)

When we read the story of the lost sons we tend to concentrate on the younger son with his rebellion and then his homecoming. We identify with him as there is so much that is familiar to our own journey. Whenever we think of the older son we tend to point the finger at other people rather than look at ourselves. For a moment, therefore, I want us to look at our own heart and see how we respond in the same way as the older brother. He too was lost. Although he lived in his father's house he behaved like a servant - he was not home. 

In these few verses he responds in four ways to the invitation to join the party and welcome his brother home. 

His responses are: I've always served you, I've never disobeyed you, you've never given me anything and 'but this son of yours'. How telling they are! As we stop and think, we can see how they very often mirror our own response. We may not be so aggressive as the older brother but we often feel justified because we have always tried to do the right thing, as a servant rather than a son. Interestingly, it's the last response that is the most telling. The older brother doesn't see the return of a brother but rather the father's son - he's distancing himself and then proceeds to make assumptions and accusations. How does he know how his brother spent the inheritance? (we're not told in the story). 

All too often we do the same thing. Our self-righteous servant heart leads us to make judgments and accusations which show that our heart has not found its home. Next week I shall look at how the Father responds to his eldest son, because, he too, needed to come home. 

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. (Romans 8:1-2 NIV)​
Last week I looked at the cycle of shame that so easily takes a hold of us. I ended with the powerful antidote to shame “The Father himself loves you”. 

Our Father wants us to be free, he does not want us to be held in any prison be it shame, unforgiveness, bitterness or sin. Not only does he want us to be free but he made it possible, by providing the way, for us to be really free and to live in freedom. Paul describes it as the ‘glorious freedom of the sons of God’ (Romans 8:21). 

It was for freedom that we were set free. We are released from the power of shame and therefore those nagging questions do not need to worm their way into our heart. As we walk in our freedom we discover that there is nothing more I must do, nothing more I must have and nothing more I must become. 

We are in Christ, that is our true home and, for each of us, that is a place of freedom. Freedom, by the way, is not the right to do as we please but rather being totally dependent on our Father as we live by the Spirit of life.

In you, LORD my God, I put my trust. I trust in you; do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me. No one who hopes in you will ever be put to shame, but shame will come on those who are treacherous without cause. (Psalm 25:1–3 NIV).​
We’ve all done things, we do things and no doubt we’ll continue doing things that we immediately regret. All too often, when we feel the first stirring of that regret, there is a little lie that seeks to get inside our heart. It doesn’t really start off as a lie but rather as an innocent question which soon grows into the lie. 

The question is “why did you do that?” or “there you go again”. Immediately there is an opportunity for condemnation and guilt to land in our heart. Then the question grows: “you did that again”, “look at you, you’re not very good are you?”, “you’ve failed again”, “you’re a failure”, “because you’ve failed, you’re not a good person” Before long it’s grown into “you’re not loveable and therefore you’re not loved”. 

What started off as doubt soon becomes a blanket of shame that we pull over ourselves and which causes us to hide. Once it grabs us the cycle of shame begins: there is something more I must do, there is something more I must have, there is something more I must become.

Rather than letting those regrets sink you, can I encourage you to remind yourself of this powerful truth “The Father himself loves you” (John 16:27)

Although it seems an impossible task it is truly possible for us to live in love. Living in love is simply us being the recipients of the love that flows from the Father. He pours that love into our heart through the Holy Spirit (Romans 5:5). What he does therefore is pour himself into our heart so his nature, character and personality fill us and begin to change us from the inside out. We think it's the other way - that we change ourselves through our own actions or beliefs. Yet it is love which is the biggest transforming power in the universe. As we are transformed by love we will become more like our elder brother, Jesus. 

In Exodus 33, Moses is having a conversation with God about how he is to lead the people. Firstly he asks who is going to help him, then he wants to learn God's ways and finally he realises it's all about God's presence going with him. When he sees that, he almost breathes an audible sigh of relief "if your presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here" (Exodus 33:15). Once he knows God's presence is with him he then has the confidence to see his glory. In doing so he gets a glimpse of the nature and character of God (Exodus 34:6-7). 

When Jeremiah wrote Lamentations he was not having a good time. He is miserable and depressed, he has lost hope and everything has become too much for him. How often do we feel like that? It is at his low point that he remembers something, and as he does it gives him hope. His life returns as he remembers the most important thing - he is loved. 

"Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'the Lord is my portion, therefore I will wait for him'". (Lamentations 3:20-24 NIV)​

It is possible to live in love because we are not relying on something that we have to produce. We rely on the steadfast, unchanging nature of the One who is love. His love never changes nor will it ever let us down. That is what can give you hope today.

O taste and see that the Lord is good; How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him! (Psalm 34:8 NASB)

Last week I started a discussion on choosing life. We have a choice and whilst love draws us in one direction we are completely free to decide our own response. Yet, the deeper we go and the more we journey with Father the less it seems like a decision, rather it feels like the obvious thing to do. Our heart longs for home, there is something inside of us that can't help but lean towards home. 

When we've seen and experienced the goodness of the Lord there is no other place we want to be than in his presence. Yes, we all make mistakes but those mistakes never disqualify us. Yes, we all need a second (and maybe a third) chance but that's ok; there's always a deeper homecoming for us to experience. 

So let's choose life and begin to walk as Jesus walked. 

Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; remain in My love. If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full. (John 15:9-11 NASB)