A FATHER TO YOU
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Going Deeper

 

God has always been Father

In the beginning 
John 1:1-8, 10-14 
John 17:20-26 
1 John 4:8 
'In the beginning' God was in intimate relationship with the Son and the Holy Spirit. They were complete in themselves. God did not need creation as an object to love because in Himself love just happens - God is love! He does not represent love - it is who He is. It is His very nature. Whatever God does He does out of love, for love and through love. 
John 17:24-26. 
Jesus came to introduce us to this love. 

Rebellion in Heaven 
Is 14:7-15 
Ez 28:1-19 
Satan was expelled from Heaven, sent from the Father's presence - he feels the full wrath of God's righteous anger. Satan wanted God's position for himself. Satan does not want God to be loving - he calls God's heart into question. Is He a God of love or is He a God of control and manipulation?

The second 'in the beginning' 
Man was created in the image of God, made in perfection to model His glory. Satan watched to see how we would be formed - would we be made to obey God without choice or would we be given the free choice to love God from our heart? Satan could not prove that God's heart was bad. Satan saw that God made us in love and for love and so he attacked the jewel of creation. 
What would God do when man disobeyed Him and walked his own way? Would He destroy us completely? No, He held out a way for us to return. One day there would be a way back into relationship. Our period of suffering was limited. 

An act of love 
Gen 3:22-24 
We were driven from the garden so we would not be able to eat from the tree of life and therefore live for ever. Man had entered into a state of separation from God, but in His love, death entered the human race so that we would not live in a state of sin forever - our suffering is finite. 

The Father's cry
Deut 32:5-6 
Psalm 68:5 
Isaiah 1:2 
Jeremiah 3:19 
God is by nature a Father and He keeps revealing Himself to us. He wants a family. Our sin makes it impossible for us to be reconciled to Him. He found a way for our sin to be dealt with so we could be united to Him again. 

The Father's answer
John 3:16 
There is hope again for mankind. 
Jesus came to reveal the Father and to show us the way back to Him. 

God's nature
In the Old Testament God's nature is revealed by His many names. 
Elohim - Supreme God - Gen 1:1, Num 23:19, Ps 19:1 
Yahweh - Lord God - Gen 2:4, Ex 6:2-3 
El Elyon - God Most High - Gen 14:17, Ps 7:17, Is 14:13-14 
El Roi - God who sees - Gen 16:13 
El Shaddai - God Almighty - Gen 17:1, Ps 19:1 
Yahweh Yoreh - God provides - Gen 22:13-14 
Yahweh Nissi - God is my banner - Ex 17:15 
Yahweh Shalom - God is peace - Judges 6:24 
Yahweh Sabaoth - Lord of hosts - 1 Sam 1:3, Is 6:1-3 
El Olam - Everlasting God - Is 40:28-31 
Yahweh Shammah - The Lord is there - Ez 48:35 
Jesus revealed the nature of God in one word - FATHER. The whole nature of God was summed up in this word. Jesus showed us, through his relationship with God, that He was a father. The names of God in the Old Testament were all summed up and fulfilled in that one word - FATHER. The nature of God was completely expressed through the life and example of Jesus. 
John 1:12 
John 1:14 
John 5:19 
John 5:30 
Matt 11:27 
Jesus taught us to pray 'our Father' - 'daddy'. 

What is Father like?
Heb 1:3 Look at Jesus - He is the exact representation of the Father. 
Ex 34:6-7 The nature of God: compassionate, gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin! 
1 Cor 13 Love is.... God is....
Gal 5 
Gal 4:6-7 We are sons and heirs. 
Jesus met people in their need. He knows what will satisfy our deepest needs. He appeals to our hearts. His yoke is not heavy and He will bring us into a place of rest. He does not deal with superficial issues, but in love, reveals the Father's heart of grace and mercy. 

Finding Father 
1 Cor 8:6 There is but one God the Father! 
John 4:21-24 True worshippers worship the Father in spirit and in truth. 
The revelation of Father's love goes beyond our understanding; it goes into our hearts and changes everything. 
John 16:23 We have direct access to Father. 
Heb 10: 19-25 We can enter the Holy place, the Father's presence. 
We can come into intimate relationship with the Father. Our inheritance is available for us now. We can walk with Him as sons and daughters. 
John 14:3-4 
John 14:23 

Pleasing Father 
If we love Him - we will obey Him. Love comes first, obedience comes second! (John 14 - three times!) The gap between our desire and our ability has to be bridged. This can only happen through the Holy Spirit. Through the Holy Spirit we know the love of the Father. We receive healing and cleansing and we learn to walk in freedom as His sons. 

What does this mean? 
We will know perfect love. Eph 3:16-19 "rooted and grounded in love". 
We will be protected from the power of the evil one (John 17:11). 
We will become one just as the Father and Son are one (John 17:20-21). 
The world will know the Father (John 17:23).  
​
GOD HAS ALWAYS BEEN FATHER AND HE WANTS TO BE A FATHER TO YOU (2 Cor 6:18)
Going Deeper Index
 

Redeeming the orphan heart

 

Hindrances to knowing God as Father

Different Father Types
Good Fathers
God’s plan – being a model of His heart
A good father by the world’s standards – encouraging, providing, caring – but still not perfect!
Sometimes a good father prevents us coming to God as Father.
View of God – No need for His love because my father was good

Performance Oriented Father
Place harsh demands for perfection and obedience at all costs
High performance, love only expressed when you hit the target. Love is therefore conditional. Feel shame when you fail. 
View of God – demanding, strings attached, shame based.

Passive Father 
No great demands on children. Does not demonstrate love and affection. Good providers but a low level of involvement. Physically present but emotionally uninvolved. 
View of God – God is there but He is uninvolved. 

Absentee Father 
No longer present at home (death, divorce, work or abandonment)
50% of children grow up in single parent families. 
Struggle with abandonment. Blame themselves for absence. 
View of God – Ready to abandon us at any time. He does not leave us as orphans!

Authoritarian Father 
More interested in law rather than love. Stern, unquestioned obedience. No emotional relationship, rules with fear and intimidation. 
View of God – Legalistic, disciplinarian, obedience as a result of fear. 
​
Abusive Father 
Verbal, physical, emotional or sexual. Leads to anger and fear. Hidden guilt, fear and shame. Distrust authority figures (eg pastors).
View of God – Angry at Him, unable to trust, lack of intimacy.

Ten Specific Hindrances
Hebrews 12:1 – “throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us”

Hidden Sin
Our sin has been dealt with at the cross – the cause of the separation from God has been removed. Power of the cross is enough – it will/can cleanse us and allow us to walk in intimacy with God. 1 John 1:9 confess our sin and He will forgive us. 
Live as children of the light – 1 John 1:7 walk in the light. Eph 5:8-10 – walk as children of the light. Short accounts and transparency!

Legalism
Our own effort and ability. We can not live a life for God in our own effort and self righteousness. Our own righteousness is like filthy rags and leads to independence rather than total dependence on Him. 
Father’s love is a message of grace Eph 2:8-9. By grace we are saved. We can not do anything to make God love us anymore than He does right now!

Fear of Rejection
We fear abandonment, fear leads to mistrust and mistrust leads to unhealthy relationships. Fear paralyses!
Psalm 27:10 “though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me” The love of God is so high, deep, wide and long that we can not escape it. Eph 3:14-19. This is a major area where the wrong voice can speak to our heart. The truth is we are secure in Him. 

Pride
God resists the proud (James 4:6) Pride is our desire to be self sufficient and live a life without God. Jesus was totally dependent on his Father – for everything. 
Humble ourselves and come as little children. Dependence and vulnerability. 

Unbelief
Hebrews 11:6 – without faith can’t please God. What He offers is too good to be true – it flows out of His extravagant love!. Our limited understanding of love can stop us believing the truth – we are limited. 
Childlike simplicity and faith. 

Shame
No shame before the fall. Shame causes us to hide from God and to cover ourselves – takes away the intimacy! Feel shame from parents, teachers, pastors, family. 
He approves of us – Isaiah 61:7 instead of shame receive a double portion. Romans 10.11 trust in Him, never put to shame!

Rejecting the Parents God Gave Us
Honouring parents brings a blessing. Walking in right relationship with earthly parents makes it easier to walk with Heavenly Father. Jesus was always a true son, in his heart – to Mary & Joseph, to spiritual fathers (son of David) and to Father God. 

Deception
John 10:10 – the thief comes to kill, steal and destroy. Satan is constantly lying about the character and nature of God. He wants us to believe that God is distant and angry and demands harsh service from us. God of this age blinded the hearts of unbelievers (2 Cor 4:3-4)
John 8:32 – the truth sets us free. Jesus is the way, the truth and life – he shows us what the Father is really like. He shows us the extravagant love of the Father.

Unforgiveness
Bitterness a poison pill we swallow thinking it will kill someone else! (Jack Winter)
Matthew 18:21-35 forgive others if we want to be forgiven by God. Release those who have offended you. Ask God for compassion for the person who has wounded you and for grace to be able to release them from the debt they owe you. Pray a blessing on them!

A Divided Heart
Can’t serve two masters! Greatest commandment to love God with ALL heart, mind and soul. 
He is worthy of ALL our love. He withheld nothing from us. He is jealous for our total love.
Going Deeper index
 

Forgiveness

 

Journey to love

Our need for love
Our lives are a journey. In fact there may be two journeys that are intertwined. 
We devote our time and energy to what we do, what we achieve, what we want to become. This is the external journey, the one everybody sees - our work, our play, even our church life. On this journey we ask an important question - "Who am I?" 
Then there is the second journey, perhaps more important but not so clearly seen or understood. This is the internal journey of our hearts, the place we can hear the voice of the One who gave everything for us, the voice of One who woos us into an intimate relationship. On this journey we also ask the question "Who am I?". 
Each journey has the same question but the answer is very different. The answer to the external journey will not satisfy the deep longing of our hearts. We will never be able to hit the mark. We may have answers for a while but then the satisfaction drains away, leaving us searching once more. We have to pursue the internal journey of our heart because it is only then that we find the love and security that we have been searching for. 

God is love 
1 John 4:1-8 God is LOVE. The complete expression of love is to be found in a person. He is not a substitute nor a counterfeit but the real thing! 
Love is not one of God's attributes but it is His very nature. Everything He does is in love, with love and for love. 
Love explains... 
Why God creates - He creates people to love. 
Why God cares - because of His love He cares for sinful people. 
Why we are free to choose - He wants a loving response from us. 
Why Jesus died - His love found a solution for our sin. 
Why we receive eternal life - God's love never ends. 

Live in love 
1 John 4:16 We live in Him (John 15) and He makes His home with us. (John 14:23) 
How God shows His love
Demonstrated most clearly through Jesus - John 3:16 
But also demonstrated in many practical ways: 
Zeph 3:17 - mighty to save, delights in us, rejoices over us with singing. 
Is 40:11 - cares for us like a shepherd cares for his flock. 
Rev 21:3-4 - comes to live with us, wipes the tears away from our eyes. 
Ps 34:18 - close to the brokenhearted. 
Ps 139:13 - created us in our mother's womb. 
2 Thes 2:16 - encourages us. 
Ps 139:17 - He thinks about us! 

Four types of love
Agape 
Rom 5:8 John 3:16 God's love is unconditional. It is freely given because God wants His family back. It is covenantal, permanent and flawless. There is nothing we can do to earn or win God's love. Nothing can be added or taken from God's love - it is complete! 

Eros 
The intimacy of a lover and His bride. Examples - Song of Songs, the Bride in Revelation. Society has distorted the true meaning of eros. It has led us to believe that sex will fulfil our every need for love. We look to eros to become a substitute for other loves but find that it does not satisfy our needs. 

Phileo 
Natural affection and kindness. The love of a friend, brother, caring neighbour. This was the way that Jesus loved Mary, Martha and Lazarus. 

Storge 
Family love, the love of a mother. Tenderness, provision of warmth or food. Comfort - imparted through touch, eye contact and tone of voice. If we do not receive this love in our childhood then there is a hole deep within us that needs to be filled. We often try to fill this hole with things that do not satisfy. Instead the Father wants to fill it with His love. 

Our search for love 
We all need unconditional love
Jer 31:3 Loved with an everlasting love. Not for what we do nor for what we achieve but for who we are. 
We need to feel safe Ps 61:1-4 Ps 32:7 Ps 27:1 

We need encouragement and affirmation 
Children need lots of praise to counteract criticism. 
Boys need to know their dads are proud of them. 
Girls need to know they are beautiful. 
Col 2:2 'encouraged in heart and united in love' 

A sense of meaning and purpose 
Jer 29:11 God has plans for us! 

God satisfies our need for love 
God wants to satisfy our need for love. In fact, He is the only one who will completely satisfy the needs and desires of our hearts. 
We look for love (agape, eros, phileo and storge) because we need it! God will express His love to us in these four ways because HE IS LOVE. 
He will love us with His 'agape' foundational, unconditional love. 
He desires to woo us into an intimate 'eros' relationship. 
He will express His 'phileo' kindness and affection to us. 
He will nurture, care and provide the 'storge' love we all need. 
Rom 5:5 We are filled with His love by the Holy Spirit. 
1 John 4:16 We live in love, not as casual visitors, but at home with love. 
2 John 1:6 We walk in love. 
Eph 3:16-19 We are to become rooted and grounded in love. 
To have our love deficit filled, we need to keep running to Father and not to people or things. Only He will truly satisfy. 

When we have it - we can give it 
We need love yet we also have the ability to love. 
If we live in the external journey of our lives we will only be able to love from a very limited reservoir - it will not meet people's needs. It will not help them answer the main question of life. 
When we live in the internal journey of our hearts and have found the Father's love for ourselves we will have something to give to others. 

How do we get it? 
We can't strive or work for it. It is a gift of grace. 
To start the journey we have to let go of 'oughts' and 'duty' and start living out of desire. Jesus showed us the way: coming like a little child, humbling ourselves, letting go of our pride and independence. 
We can stop pursuing the external journey centered around self and pursue the internal journey centered on the Person who is Love. 
Mat 11:28 A journey of rest in Him. 
Along the way many things will try to stop us receiving the Father's love. We may need to move through pain and ask Father to heal us. 
​God, the Father, is waiting to lavish His perfect love on you! 
​
HOW GREAT IS THE LOVE THAT THE FATHER HAS LAVISHED ON US, THAT WE SHOULD BE CALLED CHILDREN OF GOD! AND THAT IS WHAT WE ARE! 1 John 3:1 (NIV)
Going Deeper index
 

I will be a Father to YOU

 

Story of the lost sons

Luke 15:11-32 The story told by Jesus about two sons who are part of their father's household.
It is a story about our hearts and the desire God has for relationship. 
It is the story about our Father's extravagant love. 

The younger son (rebellion) 
He wanted his inheritance. He took it to go off and satisfy his own desires. 
He valued his rights more than the blessings of relationship. Under the law he could have been stoned for such rebellion but the father gave him his share of the inheritance. In his heart he had stopped being his father's son and took control of his own life. 
After a while the money ran out and eventually his 'gimme' attitude turned into 'change me'. 
He decided to go back home and seek forgiveness. 
THE FATHER RAN OUT TO MEET HIM! 

The older son (religion) 
He too received his inheritance. 
He continued to work on the farm and when his brother returned he was very angry! 
The apparent injustice poured out - "I've always worked hard for you, you've never given me anything!" 
He was more concerned with fairness and being right than with relationship. 
THE FATHER CAME OUT TO MEET HIM! 

The father (relationship) 
The father could have withheld the inheritance from the younger son. 
He could have kept him at home - but would he have kept his heart? 
He let him go but we know he watched and waited until the day his son returned. He had a robe waiting to cover his son's filth and shame - cf Gen 3:21. 
He had a ring to give to his son - giving him back the family's authority. 
He never stopped being a father. Unconditional love was ready to welcome the son back into the family. 
Our Heavenly Father demonstrates unconditional love and is always ready to come out and meet us! 
The father in the story was lavish, extravagant and almost irresponsible with his love - just like our Heavenly Father! 

The sons were slaves 
The younger son was a slave to sin. In his heart, though, he knew he needed to come home. He needed to come back to the father and ask forgiveness in order to find the unconditional love which would bring his heart home. 
The older son was a slave to the law. He worked for everything and judged everything by its performance. He did not know the true love of his father. He too needed to come home and find unconditional love from the father. 
The older son also shows us the nature of a spiritual orphan. One loved sin, the other loved the law - what they both needed was the law of love. The father never put them out of his heart. 

Who are we like? 
Do we live outside Father's house? Are we trying to earn our way in through what we do, rather than receiving the gift of relationship with Father through Jesus. 

Are we like the younger son?
Are there areas of sin we need to bring to the cross? 
Are we willing to humble ourselves and come back to Father, seeking forgiveness from Him?
Are we willing to lay our desires to one side and seek intimacy with Father? 
There is a Father waiting for you with open arms. There is a robe and a ring waiting for you. 

Are we like the older son?
Is there an emptiness in our heart that causes us to strive to find value and acceptance? 
Are we judgemental and grace-less? Do we want to be 'right'? 
There is a Father waiting for you with open arms. There is a robe and a ring waiting for you. 
All of us can step back inside Father's love. He always loves us. Nothing we can ever do can take us outside of His love. Rom 8:35-39. 

We all need a homecoming 
John 14 
v1-3 There is a place prepared in Father's presence for each one of us. 
v23 "My Father will love him and we will come to him and make our home with him" 
Jesus became the way to the Father. The Father is the destination! 
Jesus showed us how to be the perfect son - he lived in his Father's will and presence. He only did and said what his Father did and said. He lived to please his Father.

The Father loves us with the same love as He loves Jesus! (John 17:23). 
All of us need to find our home with the Father - to receive His unconditional love that does not depend on what we may have done or not done. The emptiness of our heart can be filled with Father's love. We can lay down the striving and the struggle and find our rest in Him. Our relationship with Father can be renewed today! It is a free gift of grace. 

Slaves or sons - which are we? 

A slave points to a master but a son reveals a father! 

IF ANYONE LOVES ME, HE WILL OBEY MY TEACHING. MY FATHER WILL LOVE HIM, AND WE WILL COME TO HIM AND MAKE OUR HOME WITH HIM. John 14:23 (NIV)
Going Deeper index
 

Becoming a son

 

Weakness, the power of sonship

As a father carries his son
Deuteronomy 1:29-31
Do not be afraid. God goes ahead and fights for us. He delivered his people from Egypt and led them through the desert. He carried his people in the same way as a father carries his son. Not just when they were tired or despondent, but he carried them all the way and all the time. And so it is with us – he carries us all the way.
Deuteronomy 33:26-27
Underneath our lives are his everlasting arms.
Our Father is just not interested in carrying our burdens; he is more interested in carrying us.
Our weakness and dependence is not wrong. We were not made to be independent but to rely on him.
Isaiah 40:10-11
God carries us like a shepherd carries a lamb, close to his heart, tenderly and in a place of security. Not left defenseless but protected.
The strength and reliability of our Father is contrasted to our own weakness.

Our own effort
We live in cultures that tell us: activity is good, strength is good, weakness is bad, our desire and effort is what makes a name for us.
We are taught that our performance and striving will win God’s favour.
There are good works prepared for us (Ephesians 2:10). But sometimes they can take over and draw attention to us rather than to our Father. Sometimes we try and take on other people’s good works as well as our own and wonder why we end up worn out.
We don’t become sons and daughters through our own strength. We are sons and daughters because we have been born into the family and given the right to become children of God (John 1:12). We can choose to take up that right or continue to live as orphans.
Our example is Jesus. As we become like him we see it is not about our own effort but finding a life of rest and learning to listen to the voice of the Father. Jesus only did what his Father told him to do – he lived a life of total dependence on the Father.

A child can be carried
Jesus shows us something important in Matthew 18:1-5.
We have to change, humble ourselves and become as a child.
Matthew 11:25-27 – the secrets of the kingdom are revealed to those with a childlike heart.
It is hard for a father to carry grown up children but it is easy to carry a little child.
Can we humble ourselves and becomes as a child? Can we lay aside our pride and independence and allow him to reach down and carry us. Unlike an earthly father God never grows tired or weary, he desires to carry us all the way.
As we come to him with a childlike heart we find a way of rest, that his burden is light and his yoke is easy.
He is more interested in you than all of your activity. Sadly, we think it is our activity that wins his heart.

Rely on his love
1 John 4:16-19
We are encouraged to know and rely on his love.

Come
There is an invitation for us to come. To come with a childlike heart and allow him to carry us.
Weakness and dependence are not things to be pushed away. As we embrace them we discover they are the power of sonship.
​
THEN I SAID TO YOU, DO NOT BE TERRIFIED; DO NOT BE AFRAID OF THEM. THE LORD YOUR GOD, WHO IS GOING BEFORE YOU, WILL FIGHT FOR YOU, AS HE DID FOR YOU IN EGYPT, BEFORE YOUR VERY EYES, AND IN THE DESERT. THERE YOU SAW HOW THE LORD YOUR GOD CARRIED YOU, AS A FATHER CARRIES HIS SON, ALL THE WAY YOU WENT UNTIL YOU REACHED THIS PLACE.
Deuteronomy 1:29-31 (NIV)
Going Deeper index
 

Like a child

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