A FATHER TO YOU
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An Open Heart Brings Change

7/4/2025

 
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Last week I looked at how comfort helps us to keep an open heart. Today I'm taking this a step further as a comforted heart brings change in us. It enables us to walk as Jesus walked.
 
Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. Though I did regret it—I see that my letter hurt you, but only for a little while— yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. (2 Corinthians 7:8-10 NIV)
 
There are two kinds of sorrow. Godly sorrow which leads to life and worldly sorrow that leads to death. How are they separated?
 
Paul's exhortation does not come from a judgemental or critical heart. He comes to the church in Corinth with an overwhelming desire to encourage them and to lead them back into a right relationship with God. He wants them to know that God is a Father to them and they are sons and daughters. For them to enter into this reality they need to change, they have to allow the sorrow Paul feels to bring them to a place of repentance through which they will have an encounter with the Father.
 
Too often when we deal with other people we do so from a critical heart and all that does is judge and condemn. That's the worldly sorrow that leads to death, not life. It goes back to the two trees in the garden: one brings life, the other death.
 
Godly sorrow will lead us to repentance, it will restore relationship and it will bring us to an encounter with the love of God where we know that he is being a Father to us. It brings life! We don't have to fear repentance or change as it takes our heart deeper into love.

Living With An Open Heart

31/3/2025

 
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​I've been reading through 2 Corinthians and have seen how the apostle Paul has a soft, tender heart towards the church in Corinth. Despite everything that he's been through he has not allowed his heart to become hard; in fact, his circumstances have not made him rely on his own strength but rather he has discovered the power of comfort and weakness.
 
We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians, and opened wide our hearts to you. We are not withholding our affection from you, but you are withholding yours from us. As a fair exchange—I speak as to my children —open wide your hearts also. (2 Corinthians 6:11-13 NIV)
 
Paul has had to write to the Corinthians about some pretty major things and, no doubt, it would have been easy for him to be judgemental or critical. That, however, is not his posture. He appeals to them to change, "to come out from them and be separate" (verse 17), he appeals to them to open their hearts in the same way as he and Titus have opened their hearts to them.
 
I have often wondered how Paul managed to maintain an open heart after he had been through so much hardship. The key is found in the first few verses of chapter 7: he is greatly comforted. Paul had found the power of living from a comforted heart. He receives that comfort once again as Titus visits him and is able to comfort him with the comfort that he himself has received. The fruit of a comforted heart is also seen in Titus - he has been refreshed by being with them.
 
Comfort is contagious! When we are comforted we are able to comfort others. I believe we receive, first and foremost, because we need to be comforted. We don't principally receive comfort in order to give it out although that is the natural consequence. Comfort restores us, it encourages us, it enables us to face the hardships of life and, importantly, it is the key to us keeping an open, tender heart.

The Father's Comfort - III

24/3/2025

 
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Comfort, what we desperately need and yes, it is possible for us to find and receive it. What has been devastated can be transformed and made beautiful. The emptiness and desperation can become a place of joy and gladness.
 
The LORD will surely comfort Zion and will look with compassion on all her ruins; he will make her deserts like Eden, her wastelands like the garden of the LORD. Joy and gladness will be found in her, thanksgiving and the sound of singing.
Those the LORD has rescued will return. They will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will crown their heads. Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away. (Isaiah 51:3&11 NIV)
 
This is our hope. The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases and his mercies are new every morning. This is the only thing that gives us true hope in the midst of our suffering. As we allow ourselves to be comforted (for as long as it takes) our heart will undergo a transformation. What we felt was barren or had become like a desert will be transformed into a beautiful garden. Where there was sorrow and sadness there will be joy and gladness. There will be life which Jesus promised was life in all its fulness.
 
How do we receive comfort. It's different for everyone but let me give one or two suggestions. Trauma often occurs suddenly, comfort comes more slowly and gently. We feel like our life has become a wilderness, we may need to go to the wilderness for our healing: not literally, but we may need to withdraw and have time alone (that can be difficult to plan and arrange but it will be worth it). We need friends, not like Job's but those who will sit, say nothing, do nothing (well, maybe make a cake or some coffee) - who are just there for us when we need them.
 
Above all we need to turn our heart to the Father of all comfort who will comfort us in all our troubles. Here is a soaking video you may wish to put on and simply ask the Father to pour his comforting love into your heart. He is faithful and he will do it. https://www.afathertoyou.com/musicvideos.html

The Father's Comfort - II

17/3/2025

 
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​Comfort, the expression of love we desperately need, yet rarely talk about. We all suffer loss, it often comes unannounced, it's always significant and it affects us more deeply than we allow ourselves to acknowledge. 
 
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
​You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you. (Matthew 5:4 NIV/Message)
 
When we suffer loss we need to be able to mourn that loss. Let me try and define how I see grief and mourning. Grief is the onslaught of emotions that we face in the teeth of our loss: bereavement, immeasurable pain, anger, fear, paralysis, despair, hopelessness. These emotions (and all the others I've not mentioned) are all valid and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Mourning is our journey through the grief and our coming to terms with all these conflicting emotions. It's facing them, acknowledging that they are (very) real and then giving yourself time to walk through them. My friend, Jane Trentham, says: "allow yourself to go to the 'ouch' moment". That's not easy, it can be very painful but it's also the start of the journey that leads to healing. 
 
It's on that journey of mourning, as we process the pain of loss and the deep experience of grief, that we are comforted. How long does it take? It takes as long as it takes and you mustn't rush, as, in your haste, you will bury your grief and it will only surface at another time (probably more forcefully and when you least expect it). 
 
There is, however, a beautiful promise of redemption and restoration which I'll look at next week. In the meantime, once again, come to the Father and ask him to wrap you in his arms of love and comfort you.

The Father's Comfort - I

10/3/2025

 
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​We don't talk about it, but we should. Comfort, in one form or another, is mentioned over one hundred times in the Bible yet we rarely talk about it, let alone receive it. It's important, very important. However, it's not a topic for us to learn about; it's an expression of love that we experience as it brings healing to the deepest wounds in our heart. 
 
Comfort, comfort my people, says your God. Speak tenderly to Jerusalem, and proclaim to her that her hard service has been completed, that her sin has been paid for, that she has received from the LORD’s hand double for all her sins. (Isaiah 40:1-2 NIV)
 
Comfort, comfort my people: what that really says to us is that we can be greatly comforted. 
 
We all experience trauma and we experience it differently. What may be traumatic for one person may be inconsequential for another. We react differently. We may try and cope, to fight through it or pretend that the trauma never happened. Ultimately there is only one solution and that is we need to receive comfort. Trauma will always leave us empty and in despair, we feel as if we have lost hope and have nowhere to turn. In fact, Solomon writes about the desperation we feel when we are not comforted, I encourage you to read it in Ecclesiastes 4:1-3, frankly it's a tragedy. 
 
I have come to see that every trauma has to be met with a greater level of comfort. If we don't receive more comfort than the trauma we've experienced we will be left in pain or discomfort. Our heart is like a container and trauma sits in the depth of our heart like a heavy weight. Comfort comes down the inside edges of that container, comes underneath the trauma and gradually lifts it up, ultimately being able to wash it away. That's why we need more comfort than the trauma. 
 
Even although we don't talk about it we all need to be comforted. It is as we grieve and mourn our loss that we are comforted and that's something I'll look at next week. In the meantime, ask the Father to come and wrap you in his arms and comfort you. He will!

The Spirit of Sonship

3/3/2025

 
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​Last week we saw that we have not been left on our own, as orphans in an orphan-hearted world, but that Jesus came to make a way for us to know the Father and that we are truly sons and daughters. This is a great comfort to us. We are not alone; in fact, we have a Helper who is with us every moment of every day. That Helper (also called a Comforter) is the Holy Spirit.
 
And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper to help you and be with you forever— the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. (John 14:16-17 NIV)
 
This is one of the first times in the New Testament that we read of the way the Holy Spirit comes and helps us. It's before any of Paul's teaching on the importance of the Gifts of the Spirit in Corinthians and Romans. Jesus doesn't talk about the gifts of the Spirit but, rather he dwells on the person of the Spirit who is our Comforter, Helper, Guide and the One who enables us to know that we are one with the Father. The gifts follow but the important thing that Jesus is communicating is that the Holy Spirit is like a bridge between us and the heart of the Father. In fact, I see him as an elastic bridge; not only does he bridge the gap but he then draws us right into the heart of the Father.
 
The Holy Spirit, living in us, is the reality of the continuity of God's presence with us. He reminds us of everything that Jesus has taught, he continues to bring it alive for us and he is the enabling power to help us walk as Jesus walked. Ezekiel saw this when he prophesied that God's own Spirit would live in us and cause (or motivate) us to walk in his ways (Ezekiel 36:27).
 
Living in the Spirit is the hallmark of our sonship. It is our inner confirmation that we are sons of God and therefore we're enabled to cry "Abba, Father!" " The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God" (Romans 8:16). And so, my encouragement today is to go on being filled with the Spirit.

I Will Come To You

24/2/2025

 
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​I think we would agree we live in an orphan hearted world. We recognise the symptoms in other people, in our world systems and probably in ourselves. So, what is an orphan?
 
An orphan is separated from or taken out of a family, it has a lack of identity, it lives a lonely, fear based life leading to performance and striving. An orphan sees God as a master or judge and so everything has to be worked for and becomes a reward. An orphan seeks position, acceptance and validation which, once achieved, will be hung onto, whatever the cost. 
 
Jesus understood all this, which is why he says:
 
I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. (John 14:18-20 NIV)
 
Even although the disciples had been with Jesus for three years, during which he had taught them, discipled and counselled them, he still sees them as orphans. In essence he sees them as being fatherless. He recognises the longing of each person to find and know a father. This longing has been in each human heart since Adam and Eve walked out of the garden, having chosen independence and separation from God. 
 
Jesus comes to put all this right. He reveals the Father, not only to the disciples but also to us. He tells us that both he and the Father will come and make their home in our heart (John 14:23). We are not left fatherless, he has come to us and will be a Father to us. 
 
Today I encourage you to open your heart to this amazing truth. Not only is God 'a' father but he wants to be a Father to YOU.

The Father's Response To The Older Brother

17/2/2025

 
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​“‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’” (Luke 15:31-32 NIV)
 
Last week I looked at the four responses of the older brother (I've always served you, I've never disobeyed you, you've never given me anything and 'but this son of yours'). Today I want to look at how the father in the story responds. 
 
He actually treats both his sons in the same way. He goes out to meet them and invites them to come home. The younger son responds but we're not sure what happens to the older son - the end of story is left open. Maybe it's left open to make us think of our own response. Though we don't like to admit it, we're like the older son in many ways and have as much need of a homecoming as the younger son. 
 
The father tells him two important things which we would do well to listen to: "You are always with me and everything I have is yours". I believe the Father says the same things to us. In the story, the older son couldn't receive it and my question for us is "can we?". Do you know that the Father is always with you? Everything that is his is yours too. I invite you to let these words of the Father sink into your heart; as they do, the servant-hearted responses of the older brother will begin to fade away. 

The Older Brother's Response To The Father

10/2/2025

 
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​“The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!" (Luke 15:28-30 NIV)
 
When we read the story of the lost sons we tend to concentrate on the younger son with his rebellion and then his homecoming. We identify with him as there is so much that is familiar to our own journey. Whenever we think of the older son we tend to point the finger at other people rather than look at ourselves. For a moment, therefore, I want us to look at our own heart and see how we respond in the same way as the older brother. He too was lost. Although he lived in his father's house he behaved like a servant - he was not home. 
 
In these few verses he responds in four ways to the invitation to join the party and welcome his brother home. 
 
His responses are: I've always served you, I've never disobeyed you, you've never given me anything and 'but this son of yours'. How telling they are! As we stop and think, we can see how they very often mirror our own response. We may not be so aggressive as the older brother but we often feel justified because we have always tried to do the right thing, as a servant rather than a son. Interestingly, it's the last response that is the most telling. The older brother doesn't see the return of a brother but rather the father's son - he's distancing himself and then proceeds to make assumptions and accusations. How does he know how his brother spent the inheritance? (we're not told in the story). 
 
All too often we do the same thing. Our self-righteous servant heart leads us to make judgments and accusations which show that our heart has not found its home. Next week I shall look at how the Father responds to his eldest son, because, he too, needed to come home. 

Freedom From Shame's Lie

3/2/2025

 
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​Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. (Romans 8:1-2 NIV)
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Last week I looked at the cycle of shame that so easily takes a hold of us. I ended with the powerful antidote to shame “The Father himself loves you”. 
 
Our Father wants us to be free, he does not want us to be held in any prison be it shame, unforgiveness, bitterness or sin. Not only does he want us to be free but he made it possible, by providing the way, for us to be really free and to live in freedom. Paul describes it as the ‘glorious freedom of the sons of God’ (Romans 8:21). 
 
It was for freedom that we were set free. We are released from the power of shame and therefore those nagging questions do not need to worm their way into our heart. As we walk in our freedom we discover that there is nothing more I must do, nothing more I must have and nothing more I must become. 
 
We are in Christ, that is our true home and, for each of us, that is a place of freedom. Freedom, by the way, is not the right to do as we please but rather being totally dependent on our Father as we live by the Spirit of life.
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    A Father to YOU is a signpost to the heart of the Perfect Father. When we became Christians we were given the right to become children of God (John 1:12). Sadly, many of us fail to take up that right and instead continue to live as slaves or orphans. But our true destiny is being sons and daughters who have a permanent place in the Father's family. This blog is an encouragement to help you know who God really is and who you really are.

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