But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! (Galatians 5:22 NLT)
Self-control has to be a fruit of the Spirit. It is pretty impossible to generate it ourselves - maybe we can for a day, a week or even a month, but can we sustain it? Without the Spirit of love in our heart it is very hard to.
As we live in love we discover that self-control is not an act of the will, or a conscious decision, but it is a heart response. It's the desire to see love triumph, to be silent when we would otherwise judge or condemn, to raise another up rather than push them down.
In our strength it's impossible, but as we live by the Spirit we find we are 'given desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires' (Galatians 5:17 NLT)
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Mark Gyde - A Father to YOU